Tuesday, November 30, 2010

some things are worth waiting for....

I suck at waiting and being still.  I also suck at waiting when I don't know what the outcome will be. Now I realize how selfish this.  I also realize that this only pertains to me if I am waiting but I don't mind making other people wait.   I have this "center of the universe" complex sometimes.  Trust me I am working on it.  Right now I am waiting...waiting on God, waiting on my professors, waiting on emails, just waiting.  I have lots of work I am doing this week. It seems like everything and I mean everything is due this week.  It has been taxing on me and I am still working at my other job.  I haven't been eating much and I haven't been sleeping much.  And yet I am still waiting.  I don't know what to expect when it all comes to close and I pray that it comes to a good close.  I am learning that patience is something that takes great energy.   I am used to taking things into my own hands and just getting it done the way I think it should be done.  If its not worth it to me, I'll move on.  I'll write it off and move on... But this time its different.  This time it is clear that I have to wait.  This time its something worth waiting for.   I have been praying for God's guidance in this situation and so he leads me to wait.  I am hopeful and I am taking the time to get all my stuff done.  While waiting I reflect a bit more about the person I am and how I can be a better person for what I am waiting on.   So...I wait...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Part Deux

I thought it would be sort of fitting to talk about my twin in part two.  My twin sister Pauline Lee looks like me and acts like me but isn't me.  I have heard for my whole life, "What is it like to be a twin?"  I never know how to answer that questions.  I don't know what its like not to be a twin so how do I answer that question?  Its fun I guess...normal.   I moved away for college and my twin stayed home.  I didn't miss her much until I went home to visit.  It was nice to be with her again.  My twin and I truly have a bond that I don't really see anywhere else.   I think she may have wanted to get away from home more than anyone in the family since everyone left and she was left with my parents.  She then decided to go to Long Beach to get away from my parents and join me.  But then I went to Portland.  Leaving everything behind to come to Portland wasn't hard.  It was easy and smooth.  I didn't feel sad and I felt like I was exactly where I should be.  It's always been easy for me to move on ...
Anyways my twin is visiting this week. Its fun to have her here.  I think we have become closer than ever before.  Here is a picture of us in Hawaii.  We don't have the same personality and we are studying to become different things.  She works with children with Autism.  I want to do mission work overseas dealing with Social Injustices.  She's homey.  I like going places and doing stuff.  I love designer brands..shes not too into it.  We are both Mac users (thanks to me) She has better eye sight than me.  We both have a strong faith in God and love Jesus. Shes my twin.  I love my twin..:)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Year one part eins.

It's been a little over a year since I've moved to Portland.  I have changed more in this season of my life than any other.  I have more hopes and dreams for the world than I had a year ago living in my Southern California bubble.    Southern California is the idea that everything is sunny and splendid.  Its a great place to live and build relationships but thats just it, its a great idea.  The weather never changes and somehow I think that Sol Cal shaped me but towards the end I felt like I was no longer growing.  Portland has challenged me in my faith, friendships, family, and love.  It might also have to do with Multnomah Seminary.  Seminary destroyed me.  In a good way. (I'll unpack that later)   Coming to seminary probably was the biggest and best decision that God has placed before me.   Don't get my wrong I love California, I miss California and I probably will go back, but it seems like a completely different world.  This blog will share with you my thoughts on love, friendship, relationships, friends, God, struggle, pain, food, travel, and life.  It never ends and I hope that you will share with me your story.  Blogging scares me, it seems so pretentious but I've realized that this blog is probably more for my benefit than yours.



Listening to....True Love-Phil Wickham
 Come close and listen to a story about a love more faithful than the morning. -
I love phil wickham.