This year I will be turning 25. Quarter of a century….and I’ve realized my whole life has been about pleasing other people. Growing up I tried to please my parents, friends, or siblings and many times I just tried to please myself. Now I try to please my co-workers at work, managers at work, teachers at school and again many times it’s about pleasing myself. (I think it has to do with the innate selfishness I have that I mentioned before) But recently I’ve been challenged with this thinking. Am I the point of reference or is Jesus? What has captured me? Who’s love intoxicates me more? I like to think that I live my life pleasing to God, but lets face facts, I care more about pleasing people than I do about pleasing God. My friend told me once, “God does not care what you aren’t doing but God cares what you are pursuing.” What I really want to say is that I am pursuing God above all else. I really wish I could say that, but I am pursuing a better position at my work, a Master’s degree in seminary, validation amongst friend’s family and so on and so forth. And some might ask what’s the problem? The problem is I’m not immune to people pleasing. I am not immune to the praises of man. I want the love of mankind more than the love of God. I try to think how different my life would be if I didn’t try to please people so much, but instead pointed everything back to God. This isn’t to say that I discount people all together. Not at all but the exact opposite, that I would go down and live amongst the broken, the “tax collector,” or in my case Chinese people! (that’s somewhat of a joke btw) If our hearts are warm we will give ourselves to the world, just as Christ did. What are the two commandments that Jesus tells us, “Love the Lord your God with all your strength, mind, soul, and heart. Secondly, Love your neighbor as you love yourself. And who is your neighbor? Your neighbor is the person you like the least that moves in right next door. That I would love God so much that it would compel me to reach out to the people that I wouldn’t normally hang out with. You can’t reach people unless you really love them. People can tell when you are just going through the motions. And why do I want to reach out to these people. Why do we love? My starting point is that God loves me! We love because he first loved us! Sometimes I find myself saying I am going to do missions because I love God. Now I want to say NO it’s because of God’s love for me. It’s because God loves me so that I love others. There is a difference between reaching people because you want them to like you and reaching people because the love of God compels you. And what does love do? It creates faith. It creates faith in God because you know that he loves you. You trust that God know what is going on and God is guiding you, even if that means being broken and persecuted. You are stupid if you trust in someone that doesn’t love you. 1 Corinthians 4:12, “We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it.” Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) I live this cushiony life. My motto is, “be happy!” But I pray that when trials and persecutions arise that I would have a heart like Paul. God must increase. If you want to be used greatly by God you don’t take yourself to seriously. You take God seriously. "What distinguishes the Christian whose faith is deep, burning, powerful, and luminous is...seriousness. Seriousness is not the opposite of joy but of superficiality.” Paul took God seriously. Lets take a look at Paul. He was Saul, he persecuted the church and then God showed up. But what does God say to Ananias,” I will show Paul how much he must suffer for my name.” (Acts 9:16) God kept breaking Paul. He keeps breaking us to show us how much we need to depend on him. It forces us to be truly weak. We shouldn’t see hard times as obstacles but as opportunities. I want more and more that the love of God would intoxicate me, which would compel me to love the person I like the least. (That I would love others even when I am hated) Ministry is not I vs. them but I with them! Its game over, I am captured by the fathers love- which leads to compassion - which leads to loving others- which leads to dying to my professionalism, to my possessions…to myself.
Book I am going to read :
