Feeling Hungry...

Yesterday night Jonas said to me, "I'm starving!"  Honestly I was too but then I had to stop and think about what we were really saying.  The actual definition of this word means to suffer severely or die from hunger.
Yes we were really hungry, we hadn't eat in 24 hours and had just finished our first fast together as a couple.  There were a few reasons why we were fasting but thats not the point of this post.
Was I really starving?  No, not even close, I hadn't had a meal for a day and I was already feeling faint.  That's sad.  I couldn't' help but think about all the people in the world who haven't even seen food in days and what their state of mind must be like.  Throughout this process I kept thinking about something one of my new friends here said.  She is this wonderful woman who loves the Lord and truly lives out Christ.  I look up to her and I'm so thankful that she is in my life.
Anyway on Thursday we both attend a bible group for spouses at Wycliffe hall and as a group we are going through Deuteronomy.   The passage that we were focused on chapter 8 and specifically this verse,  "And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."

There is so much I could say about this simple verse but the one I want to focus on is that, "man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."
There are many different interpretations that have come from this passage, some of these include; We as Christians need to live by God's word, we need our spiritual food."  To actually lives more than just eating food.  God humbles us and reminds us of his providence in our lives.
But yesterday my friend said, "Sometimes I think that we fill our lives with food when we are hungry because it's what we think we need but our deepest hunger is from our soul."
In other words, when we are hungry maybe it isn't that we are physically hungry but spiritually hungry.  How many of us fill our lives with food, love food and think about food most of the day?

I asked myself this questions and through fasting yesterday and going through the motions on Thursday I came to the conclusion that food is a huge part of my life.  I don't even really think about my spiritual hunger, But maybe my spiritual hunger is actually calling out to me instead of my physical hunger.  Don't get me wrong I spend time in prayer, worship and reading the word on a daily basis but maybe when I'm hungry its not my stomach calling out to me.  This verse is saying that we must live by God's word and that is our deepest hunger.  When I read though this and see that God gave them manna which they did not know maybe its this type of food that fills us so much that we don't feel physically hungry.
Yesterday during the fast I found myself with so much time on my hands.  I mean I love food and cooking and I think so much about what I'm going to make for breakfast, lunch and dinner that yesterday I had so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do with it. It's not like I've never fasted before but before when I would fast I had a whole day of work and errands that preoccupied my mind, hands, and stomach.   This was the first time that I just had a day of rest.
Perhaps you don't agree and maybe you already know this and somehow I think I knew this too but it was different hearing it from someone else.

In Taiwan and in the East specially more than the west I believe, food is a huge part of the culture.  People love to eat and spend so much time eating in the East.  I mean one of the most polite and caring things you can say to someone in Taiwan when you greet them is, "Have you eaten yet?"
In Taiwan I realized that we fill our lives with so much food that we are unable to hear our soul calling out to be fed by the one True God.

Everyone knows this verse and lives by it when they are fasting to hold on to God's word but what about when we aren't fasting.   It isn't always about fasting and remember God's provision and how he fills our life but about listening carefully to our deepest desire which is Christ.  We must really listen to our bodies and soul to really be fed the correct way rather than just reaching for the stick of celery again to see if that will satisfy our hunger.
Maybe its not my stomach that needs satisfying but my soul.
Some food for thought...literally.

Prison MInistry

Jonas has a clear calling in his life and that is to minister to prisoners.  He is thriving here in Oxford in ways I have never seen.  He loves it here and one of the things that he loves to do is going to the prison for prison ministry.  I have joined him twice and I really enjoy it.  The guys there are incredible guys.  They have changed their lives.  You should hear their stories.  The places they were before and the places they are now really puts into practice the idea of being born again.

I mean when I was "born again" I felt alive and struggling to shed my old skin but shouldn't it already be gone?  At the prison these guys really see the effects of their sin and want change in their life.  Some of the men there have questions and don't really know if Christ is the way but are willing to listen.  They have so many good questions and some that I have hard time hearing.

This one guy said, "I have a hard time believing all of this but I know there has to be truth out there. What is the truth? How do I get it?"
The truth is, we've talked to him and he's been in prison a few times now and still doesn't get it.  But you can see the desperation in his heart.  He really wants to know God but I can see that he is scared and disappointed.  There is something so broken about him that I can see more the grace of God on all people bad and worse.
Jonas always says to me that people in prison get sin more than people in the outside world.  They sinned and got caught and they get it.  Sharing with them that everyone is a sinner is easy for them to understand but I think grace is hard for them to accept.  Their lives are really being changed by the gospel and its such a beautiful thing to see.
I don't ever want to forget the grace that God continues to give me in my broken life.
I am not skilled to understand what God has willed what God has planned.  But I know that Jesus died for me and only through him can I be redeemed.