As some of you may or may not know I struggle with pride. Well, I struggle with a lot of things but pride is one of them. I also struggle with not being good enough. It's an interesting dichotomy. There are days when I think that I'm better than other people because I look at where I am in my life. Then there are days when I think that everyone is doing something amazing with their life and I'm just sitting around being useless. And then a friend once told me, "There is no need to be proud because of this. You are who you are because Jesus made you that way. He is the one worthy of all glory and honor." Then I stopped and thought about that for a while. Is my problem the fact that I think everything I am doing is because of my strength? What does it really mean when I give God the honor and glory for everything I am doing in my life? I don't even think I know what that means. I mean I know it in my head but at the end of the day i want to take credit for everything that is in my bank account, all the awards I've been given, the degrees I have. But when I think about it the way that my friend put it, it really is because of God. Everything I have is his and I don't need to feel proud of where I am because it wasn't me at all. It is only through God's grace that I got to where I am. The hardest thing is seeing what people are doing in their lives and how great they live their lives. I want to be like them and then I have to stop and think. I am where I am because God has lead me here. I want to continue to pray for His guidance because if I don't I'll be living for myself and thats the last thing I want to do. I know that sounds weird but when I live for myself I loose sight of what is important and what is really important to me is sharing the gospel with people. It's really easy to put that aside, make lots of money, and move up in the world, but that's not what God called me to do. So what I think it boils down to is the idea of being an "admirer of Christ" or being a disciple of christ. I think admirer's love God and they follow him up to a point, but once they are asked to lay their lives down, they stop. They can't do that. They want to live their lives and God is just a really good friend that supports them in everything they are doing. There is no need to see him as Lord or Savior because well, "Jesus and I are tight" People keep God in this box in the corner and take him out when its convenient or when they need a favor, but thats not what being a "Christ Follower" means. When you follow God and call him your God, you better mean it. You better mean it with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength. If you don't, I would encourage you to think about it. I would encourage you spend some time and talk to God. Following God is not fluffly in the sky stuff, its real life. We are talking about salvation and that should not be taken lightly I don't wish to be mean, I really don't, but more that I love you so much. I don't wish to put a damper on your life, but just think about it. Don't take it the wrong way, its just on my heart. Really stop and think....
a book a friend recommended...
Looks good. I'll probably read it.
